Sean Spinks

On Tuesday, my wife’s Grandmother passed away. Her name was Zelda Asher (I know, What a cool name!), and… She was an Orthodox Jew.

So, on Friday my wife and I went to the funeral in Portsmouth, Virginia. This was the first time I would be meeting that side of my Wife’s family. Being unfamiliar with Jewish customs to this degree, I was concerned on how I would be recieved as a “Christian Outsider”.

But, I learned alot from this experience!

First, I learned that Jews have an awesome sense of family. People were coming out of the woodwork it seem like. People that were only 2nd or 3rd cousins of Jennifer’s father came to show their respects. Even I was treated as a part of the family! Many generations came together to mourn the loss of this woman.

Secondly, I learned alot about Jewish culture, which gives me a better understanding of Jews of the Bible. I did not realize until this experience that Jews do not cremate their dead. They are very particular about how to prepare the dead (including preparation of the body and that they must be buried within 72 hours). Also, before a Jewish Funeral is over, you must fill the grave. Also, they really make their burials very simple. Honestly, I think this is a lot smarter than spending thousands on a casket lined with comfortable cloth (as if they could feel it). When I was told that they use a plain box, they were not kidding!

Thirdly, I realized how similar Christianity and Judaism really is! During a funeral, they have a minister (a Rabbi), they pray to Jehovah God, they believe in God as Creator and Judge, etc. During the eulogy, the Rabbi even mentioned Deborah the Judge as a reference to great women in the Bible!

Fourthly, I learned that Jews really know how to eat!!!! It is custom for Jews to eat a meal immediately after a funeral (called seudat havra’ah or meal of consolation). At this meal, they had some amazing food like White Fish salad, Salmon Lox, Tuna Salad, Bagels, Hard-Boiled Eggs, Keugel, with tons of desserts as well! It was all delicious! At this meal I got to sit next to a couple of people that were truly remarkable! Their names were Uncle Bill and Aunt Esther. Uncle Bill was Grandma Zelda’s 96 Year Old Brother (who is still driving despite the fact that his license is expired). He and Aunt Esther have been married for 71 years!!! Talk about fidelity! We talked for hours about all different things! I learned alot from these two amazing people! Although, I had never met them before they treated me like I was family!

Fifthly, I learned that we need to make the most of the time we have here on earth, no matter how long that may be! This lady left a legacy of love and the importance of family! I want my life to leave this kind of legacy!

The sad thing to me, is that I never had the privilege of meeting this woman that we had come to honor.